TILL ZOMOBIES RIP US APART
While not known to devour human flesh like “real” zombies, their mindless preoccupation with themselves, slavish fixation on meaningless distractions, and complete disregard for their rapidly deteriorating ecologic, economic and Constitutional environment threaten to spill from the worst zomboid infestations in the United States across the entire globe.

Certainly, the carnage caused by their mindless wars against non-threatening nations on which American zombies project their paranoia is consuming bone and gristle, hopes and dreams by the boxcar loads. With more than one million people - mostly children - killed in Iraq since 2003 by zombie-like GIs hopped up on anti-malarial pills and Dexedrine, fear, stress, exhaustion and the potent spells of patriotism and “revenge” for non-existent crimes, America's blindly-following zombie legions are as dangerous to any country they overrun as the horrors described by Brooks in his best-selling account of the zombie wars. [World War Z]

“Talking on a cell phone makes you drive like a retiree even if you're only a teen,” reports the University of Utah, after finding that when motorists as young as 18 talk on their cell phones, “they drive like elderly people, moving and reacting more slowly and increasing their risk of accidents.” Only hands-free phones were used in the study.

"If you put a 20-year-old driver behind the wheel with a cell phone, his reaction times are the same as a 70-year-old driver," says David Strayer, a University of Utah psychology professor and principal author of the study. "It's like instant aging." (Except studies have shown older, more experienced drivers are much more cautious - and safer - than testosterone-addled teens.) [AP Feb 2/05; Human Factors Winter/05]

Cell phone users are also as impaired as alcoholics. The quarterly journal Human Factors and Ergonomics Society reports that motorists talking on cell phones are actually more impaired than drunk drivers with blood-alcohol levels exceeding 0.08. It doesn't matter whether the phone is hand-held or hands free.

EM engineer Alasdair Philips of Britain's Powerwatch looked for people under age 40 using cell phones more than four hours a day, and found them already retired as “unfit for future work” due to early onset dementia. Philips says, “I would rate over four hours per day cell-phone use as potentially as dangerous as drinking a bottle of spirits per day - only it will damage the user's brain function rather than kidney function, and we don't yet have brain transplants.”

SAFETY TIP: Protect yourself from zombies operating motor vehicles! If you are driving and spot someone using a cell phone in a vehicle nearby, pull off the road and seek cover as soon as it is safe to do so. Or maneuver behind that driver and increase your distance accordingly. Do not open fire. “Self-defense” is not yet a legal defense for shooting drivers wielding cell phones.

PHONING FETUSES
If infants are born zombies, we are doomed. In the world's most extensive, government-funded report on cell phone radiation, biomedical expert Dr. Stan Barnett described cell phone radiation effects on fetal tissue. After its release in June 1994 by a reluctant Australian government, the Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation (CSIRO) described laboratory tests as far back December 1974 showing how neurons in the soft skulls of developing fetuses are extremely sensitive to heat during the process of cell division.

”The mother's pelvic structure promotes deep RF radiation penetration and that radiation can be absorbed within the developing embryo or fetus,” Dr. Barnett warned. The womb's saline fluid is also highly conductive to Radio Frequencies and microwaves - and the EMF-conductive human body is 65% water-by-weight. [CSIRO June 1994; irf.univie.ac.at/emf]]

Whether cell phone radiation cooks the baby's brain or destroys its rapidly dividing brain cells through microwave radiation, “the resulting neural deficit may not be restored,” Dr. Barnett found. Perhaps not wanting to terrify the public, he neglected to add that this fetal brain damage from cell phones could easily lead to zombification. But he did add that though the fetus may continue to develop and appear normal, her brain functioning may be reduced for life. [EMFacts Consultancy Mar 26/03]

PhD Robert Kane points to corroborative research showing that all fetuses “showed growth retardation from cell phone exposure“ - with female offspring exhibiting the highest risk of “impaired learning ability.” When we recall that cell phone zombies speak largely in clichés, corporate jingles and broken sentences we can see how insidiously far-reaching this process has already gone.

Associated Bioelectromagnetics Technologists findings also show that RF exposure from cell phones and cell phone relay towers “is wholly correlated with the repeatedly documented increased incidence of autism - now reported by at least some researchers as greater than 1 per 100 newborn.”

God have mercy on us all. If one in a hundred infants are not actually autistic but hard-to-differentiate zombies - we may find ourselves overwhelmed within another generation.

TARGETING CHILDREN
Responding to relentless advertising spells and giveaways, the age of cell phone users continues to drop as fast as their IQ and attention span. In 2007, the average age of first-time “users” was 10. Within the next two years, International Data Corp forecasts the 9-and-under market will rack up an additional $1.6 billion in revenue for cell phone companies - and add another nine million child zombies in the United States alone.

Despite desperate rear-guard stands, the last holdouts against child zombification in the European Union are crumbling. As Dorjeen Carvajal reports, “Telephone use is also getting more precocious in Europe, according to a Eurobarometer survey of almost 1,000 children in 29 countries, most of whom had telephones after age 9.”

The mobile telephone industry “is reaching deeper into saturated markets to tap customers with chubby hands capable of cradling both dolls and phones,” Carvajal comments. As cell phone users in their 'tweens and teens drive subscriber- growth everywhere, International Data Corp projects that by 2010, 31 million children could become zombies from holding miniature microwave ovens to their vulnerable soft brain tissue.

Targeting the youth market for zombification is especially cynical because children treat their microwave phones like a doudou or stuffed animal companion, the French mobile phone trade association AFOM revealed after surveying the habits of children too young to discriminate against dangers proffered by adults they trust.

Cell phone-toting tots also spend more of their parent's money on the latest games, ring tones and wallpapers - and teens chatter even more than adults on their cell phones, greatly increasing cell phone company profits. Not to mention their own risks of developing allergies, senility, cataracts, learning disabilities, hyper activity disorders and brain tumors. [Intl Herald Tribune Mar 7/08]

AVOIDANCE - THE ONLY DEFENCE
After the Spanish Neuro Diagnostic Research Institute in Marbella discovered that a call lasting just two minutes can alter the natural electrical activity of a child's brain for up to an hour afterwards, Spanish doctors now fear that disturbed brain activity in children will lead to zombie-like impaired learning ability, as well as psychiatric and behavioural problems.

"There really isn't a safe amount of mobile phone use,” Dr. Hyland continues. We don't know what lasting damage is being done by this exposure. If I were a parent I would now be extremely wary about allowing my children to use a mobile even for a very short period. My advice would be to avoid mobiles." [Mirror Dec 26/01]

AN OCEAN APART
It's not like nobody knows how dangerous cell phones are. Perhaps because of earlier unpleasant experiences with vampires, European governments are intensely studying the effects of cell phones on otherwise normal humans. So far, their scientists have found everything from nervousness and headaches to brain tumors and even genetic damage resulting from cell phone radiation. [Independent Mar 30/08]

Led by Sir William Stewart, the famous British biochemist and president of the British Association for the Advancement of Science, the Stewart Inquiry report on “Mobile Phones and Health” was released by these biomedical specialists in April 2000. At a science conference in Glasgow, Sir William urged mobile phone makers to stop presenting their products as essential "back to school" items for children, whose easily penetrated skulls and longer lifetime use makes them particularly vulnerable to Radio-Frequency (RF) and microwave (MW) cell phone radiation. Sir William told the press he would not allow his grandchildren to use mobile phones. [Journal of the Australasian College of Nutritional & Environmental Medicine Sept /01]

In Sweden, where cell phones are being marketed to 5-year-olds, Olle Johansson, Associate Professor of Neuroscience at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm declares: “Parents should take their children away from that technology." [Dialing Our Cells by William Thomas]

In an interview in the Berlin Morgenpost, Wolfram Koenig, head of the Bundesamt für Strahlenschutz -the federal authority for radiation protection in Germany - urged telecom companies not to target children in their advertising campaigns.

Dr. Gro Harlem Brundtland, director general of the World Health Organisation, also told a major Norwegian newspaper that children should be discouraged from using mobile phones. The former Norwegian prime minister and popularizer of “sustainability” is also a licensed physician with a degree in public health. Making shorter calls does not help, Brundtland emphasized. [Microwave News Mar-Apr/02; Dagbladet Norge Mar 9/02]

France, Germany and the European Environment Agency also advise “minimal” handheld and hands-free cell phone use. But the Irish Doctors Environmental Association says flatly that young children should be stopped from using mobiles. The Irish point to zombie-like side-effects from cell phone radiation, including excessive clumsiness, fatigue, confusion, tingling and dizziness. [Independent Mar 30/08; Irish News Feb 9/05]

Back across the Atlantic, where one in three teenagers uses a cell phone, “There is no research being done in the United States at the present time,” Dr. Ghandi laments. “All of that research has been stopped because of industry.”

HEAVY CASUALTIES SOON COME, MON?
If tobacco companies dared employ the same sophisticated neural “programming” techniques to sell cigarettes to toddlers as cell phone manufacturers do using the same marketing firms - they would face a lynch mob. But by inflicting devices recently denounced by a leading cancer researcher as injurious as smoking on the very young, mobile manufacturers are turning young and old alike into compliant, brain dead zombies.

And maybe just plain dead, as well.

PROCESS OF ELIMINATION
It may already be too late.

A recent poll of 1,286 cellphone users has found that one in four cannot imagine life without their cell phone. The question remaining unasked is if they can imagine their lives continuing unimpaired with it.

Four in 10 people, particularly young adults, make cell phone calls to kill time as well as themselves, when traveling or waiting for someone they will invariably ignore. "We've got everything on my phone," boasts Mark Madsen, a 24-year-old college student from Chattanooga, Tennessee. "I use it mostly for the phone, but I also play video games and use the MP3 player. I pretty much use it all the time."

Like addicts everywhere, more than one in three cell phone subscribers say they are occasionally “stunned” by their user bills. Nevertheless, an increasing number of homes are speeding the zombification of their inhabitants by going completely wireless, with no landline at all. Public pay phones are also being removed, making it ever harder to avoid being owned by a brain-stunting cell phone.

This is good news for political leaders desiring a compliant populace for policies involving genocide, torture and concentration camps. It is also a boon to an illness industry feeding off human misery. On a New Zealand news show, Dr. George Carlo called marketing strategies aimed at children, “grotesque” after identifying as many as 50,000 new cases of brain and eye cancer attributable to cell phone use being diagnosed every year. (Mobile users who wear metal-frame glasses intensify the exposure to their eyes and heads). [IsraCast Technology News July 29/05]

Based on current epidemiological studies, that number will reach a half-million cell phone cancer cases annually within the next two years.

WRONG ANSWERS
“We have never had this kind of impending risk to society,” Dr. Carlo says. After heading a $28 million cell phone study from 1993 through 2001, his finding - “that RF causes genetic damage” was not welcomed by his cell phone industry sponsors.

Jerry Phillips worked with Ross Adey on similar research funded by Motorola beginning in 1991. After Adey came to similar conclusions as Carlo, “Motorola was adamant that Adey never mention DNA damage and radiofrequency radiation in the same breath,” Phillips recounts. [WSW July 11/02; wirelessconsumers.org Dec03/01]

More than two decades ago, EMF researcher Alan Frey also wondered if headaches experienced by radio and radar operators - and now widely reported by cellphone users worldwide - were resulting from microwave-induced leakage of toxic molecules through the blood-brain barrier. "Headaches may only be the most obvious indicator of what is going on biologically," Frey warned back in the mid-1980s.

Studying blood-brain barrier changes since the late 1980s, neurologist Leif Salford of Lund University in Sweden is the leading expert in this research. “With improved detection procedures and new tracers, one of his most recent studies found changes in the rat brain chemistry after only two minutes of cellphone-level exposures; the rats' blood-brain barrier had failed, allowing proteins to enter the brain, and it is known that certain proteins which are normally present in blood, can cause nerve damage in the brain,” writes Aussie cell phone researcher and reporter Stewart Fist.

Professor Darius Leszcynski headed up the first two-year program looking at the effects of mobile phone radiation on human cells rather than those of rats at Finland's Radiation and Nuclear Safety Authority. He, too found that cell phone transmissions open the blood-brain barrier to potentially brain-damaging toxins in the blood. [ WSW July 11/02]

"We think we are on to something very significant," Professor Salford says. “It seems that molecules such as proteins and toxins can pass out of the blood, while the phone is switched on, and enter the brain. We need to bear in mind diseases such as MS and Alzheimer's are linked to proteins being found in the brain.” So, he added, is Parkinson's Disease. [Electronics Australia Magazine Feb/00]

Alzheimer's mental and memory impairment and the jerky motions of Parkinson's are telltale zombie symptoms.

PROTECT THE MACHINES
“There is no proof that cellular telephones can be harmful,” insist already infected FCC zombies on their “Kidszone” website. Blithely ignoring hundreds of alarming clinical studies, the Federal Communications Commission offers reassuring “Cell Phone FAQs” before going on to advise:

“Some of the places that you should never use your mobile phone are inside hospitals and airplanes. When you make or receive calls, electromagnetic waves are sent through the air. Hospitals have a lot of electronic devices that monitor patient's heartbeats and other thing when they are getting surgery or when they are recovering from an illness. When electromagnetic waves try to go through them, the devices sometimes stop working.”

The FCC does not say what happens when a much more subtle and sensitive instrument called the human brain is exposed to “electromagnetic waves… sent through the air”. [fcc.gov]

LOST CONTACT
Max Brooks, best-selling chronicler of the first desperate Zombie World War, informs us that “nzúmbe” is a Kimbundu, West African word for a dead person's soul. “So what makes this living human a zombie?” Brooks asks. “The answer is simple: brain damage.” [World War Z]

Few things damage brains as severely as chronic exposure to cell phone radiation. Leif Salford is concerned that spreading wireless technology is “drowning people in a sea of microwaves.” Speaking directly to the threatened zombification of the entire human population, Salford says brain neurons that would normally not become senile until people reached their 60's, are doing so now when people reach their 30's because of cell phone exposure. [RFSafe.com Nov26/03]

Children and teens who become hooked on cell phones face a lifetime of learning disabilities, hyperactivity, high risk from driving accidents, greatly increased acute and chronic asthma, hearing loss, vision loss, sleep disorders and cancers - as well as classic symptoms of zombification, including loss of social skills, inability to think and reason clearly, loss of contact with their surroundings.

Faced with hard-to-detect zombies in their own ranks, alarmed British military scientists have discovered that every cell phone transmission disrupts brain functioning responsible for memory and learning. “Overuse” can cause forgetfulness and sudden confusion, as well as loss of the ability to concentrate, calculate and coordinate. [India Tribune Sept 17/04]

A leading Lloyd's of London underwriter refuses to insure phone manufacturers against the risk of subscribers developing cancer. The world's most prestigious insurer also fears even more claims arising from zombified cell phone users who develop early onset Alzheimer's. [Observer Mar11/99]

NO MORE KIDS?
The coming cell phone cancer plague could terminate the cell phone zombie threat. But the cost to societies will be far greater than tobacco-related deaths. With more than 2 billion people - including at least 500 million children - using cell phones at present, the coming die-back of habitual cell phone users threatens the ability of nations to cope with bankrupt medical systems and overflowing hospitals and hospices. How will the trains - and everything else - run on time during socially dizzying disruptions caused by the sudden loss of key executives, city managers, government bureaucrats, tradespeople, professionals, as well as busy NGOs and activists to brain damage, electromagnetic sensitivity as acute as chemical sensitivities, and debilitating cancer?

RF/MW signals currently under discussion for inflicting on wireless classrooms throughout North America and the overdeveloped world will operate in the 2.4 GHz frequency range. This should do it. Because this cell-disrupting power density is two to three times higher than current cell phones. If schoolchildren survive this onslaught, plans are already underway to boost classroom radiation levels with “upgraded” technology emitting an even more lethal 5 GHz frequency range. [irf.univie.ca.at ]

Once turned into zombies and eventually culled by cell phones, these kids may be difficult to replace, because researchers at University of Szeged in Hungary have discovered that men carrying their cell phones on standby anywhere in their clothing throughout the day produce about a third less sperm than those who do not. Of the remaining sperm, high numbers were found to be swimming erratically - significantly reducing chances of fertilization. [BBC June 27/04]

Now put men sterilized by their cell phones together with fashionable beachgoing women who carry their cellphones in their bikini bottoms and the coming cell phone cull could become a crash. Especially if women are culled by bra-makers encouraging them to carry cell phones in their convenient, already cancer-prone cleavage.

Ironically, as more and more once-normal humans succumb to the seductive status and convenience conferred by cell phones, these extreme dangers become as self-perpetuating as the plague of brain-dead zombies already walking among us.

Vini Khurana urges everyone to stop using cell phones immediately. [Independent Mar 30/08]

LOW POWER INCREASES EFFECTS
Cell phone manufacturers often point to the low power output of their devices. But Dr. Franch and other medical investigators have found that the negative health effects of cell phones worsen with low dosage. This “simply reflects the fact that biological systems operate in a non-linear manner,” writes Dr. Peter Franch in a co-authored landmark study, Effects Of 835mHz Exposure On Cell Structure And Function. “The higher frequency range” used in today's digital cell phones “is also very close to the resonant frequency of human DNA, and as well as the resonant frequency of the human skull case.”

Oops.

“Mobile telephones are arguably the most radiative appliance we have ever invented apart from the microwave oven and people are putting them by their heads - arguably the most sensitive part of the body,” comments British biologist and mobile phone specialist Roger Coghill. “Human brains may absorb up to 40% of a cell phone's RF energy, and as much as 60% of its microwave energy.”

Sensitive to subtle electromagnetic harmonies, human brains and bodies depend on electrical impulses to conduct complex life-processes - including the ability to read, recall and respond to these words. Much like a boxer taking repeated blows to the head, rapidly pulsing cell phones signal permanent brain damage.

Cell phone researcher Dr. Peter Franch says unequivocally that brain and other “cells are permanently damaged by cellular phone frequencies.” This cellular damage, Franch notes, is maximized at low dosage, and “inherited unchanged, from generation to generation.”

“For the first time in history, we are holding a high-powered transmitter against the head,” agrees Dr. Ross Adey. “When you talk on your mobile phone, your voice is transmitted from the antenna as radio frequency radiation between 800 MHz and 1,990 MHz… at a range that's right in the middle of microwave territory. [WSW July 11/02]

Whipping anything back-and-forth 800 or 1,990 million times per second is bound to cause breakage in the double-strand DNA of human cells.

Sure enough, in Dr. Franch's clinical study both normal human cells and malignant brain tumor cells were permanently damaged by cellular phone frequencies.

Dr. Henry Lai, a 20-year EMF researcher, and colleague Dr. N.P. Singh confirmed these conclusions by finding double-strand DNA breaks in test animals exposed for just two hours to pulsed, cell phone microwaves. Double-strand breaks do not repair themselves and can lead to mutation. An Adelaide Hospital study confirmed these findings after discovering that B-cell lymphomas doubled in mice within 18 months of one-hour daily exposure to power densities experienced by a cellphone user. B-cell lymphomas are implicated in 85% of all cancers.

Before having their research abruptly shut down by officials acting like zombies, Dr. Lai's experiments at the University of Washington placed rats in a pool of water where they learned to swim to a platform. After half the group was exposed to cellphone radiation, they became zombies and forgot the way to the platform. After it was removed, unexposed rats swam around bewildered, while the cellular-exposed group exhibited zero memory of it ever being there. [guardian.co.uk]

SAY WATT?
Even though irrefutable medical evidence shows that, in addition to sparking a host of other maladies cumulative brain damage from cell phones can lead to impairment severe enough to turn users into the walking dead, so far cell phone “safety codes” only regulate radiation capable of burning skin. “Basically, Health Canada claims if it can't cook you, it can't hurt you,” says Canadian EMF expert, Walter McGinnis. “It's like saying cigarettes aren't dangerous unless they burn you.”

Setting the standards for cell phone exposure in Britain, the National Radiological Protection Board's recommended radiation limits are expressed in Specific Absorption Rates that measure radiation averaged over one gram of tissue. The 1999 NRPB recommended limit was 10 milliwatts. One year later, proposed European guidelines of two milliwatts were five-times more restrictive. But on March 9, 2000 the China Consumers Association issued a worried warning about cellphone radiation after their tests found that some cell phones radiate up to 1,550 milliwatts per square inch.

Cellphone manufactures insist that “many studies” show their miniature microwave ovens are safe. But when pressed by the Washington Post to back up their claim, the cellphone industry could cite no studies showing no adverse impact from cellular telephones on human tissues, nervous systems or organs. As Dr. George Carlo confirmed, “The industry had come out and said that there were thousands of studies that proved that wireless phones are safe, and the fact was that there were no studies that were directly relevant.”

Among more than 15,000 scientific reports on the cell phone hazards, at least 66 epidemiological studies show that electromagnetic radiation increases brain tumors in human populations. [“Cell Phone Convenience or 21st Century Plague?“ by Dr. Nick Begich and James Roderick earthpulse.com]

CELL PHONE “SHIELD” SCAMS
Can shooting yourself in the head be “safe”? Cellphone “shields” do not block microwaves, or change their harmful frequencies. If they did, cell phones could not communicate.

The only way to ensure complete protection against being turned into a zombie by cell phones is to avoid using them except in emergencies when no other voice communication is available - at the max, experts suggest, one or two minutes per month.

But cell phone manufacturers and sales rep zombies are working tirelessly to infect others by situating cell phone relay transmitters in town centers, schools and shopping centers. Remote natural settings especially attract towers festooned with microwave transmitters. Be wary! Faced with growing public opposition and some recent notable victories that have seen cell phone towers removed, their rote-reciting advocates are once again advancing their contaminating emissions by stealth - hiding cell phone relays in trees, eaves and even church steeples. Private landowners are also paid annual fees to site unassailable cell phone transmitters on their property capable of irradiating entire neighborhoods.

Incredibly shrinking mobile phones are being made small enough to fit inside a cigarette case by putting their antenna inside the phone. But this sharply reduces reception, which in turn is causing base stations to boost their RF and microwave power outputs back to size-challenged cell phones. [New York Times Mar 10/03]

SAFETY TIP: If a visitor's cell phone picks up a strong signal where you live, find the offending tower and remove it - or move.

Before you become a zombie, too.

Unlike the flesh-munching ghouls depicted in Hollywood horror flicks, which die and “reanimate” through the transmission of the Solanum virus through a usually gruesome exchange of bodily fluids, “voodoo zombies” are created by potions and spells cast by Haitian hougnan priests.

“Zombie powder,” as Max Brooks notes in his essential ZOMBIE Survival Guide, “contains a very powerful neurotoxin” not unlike the pervasive brain-eating chemicals added to food, soft drinks and other drugs - including (as we have seen elsewhere in this book) fluoride, aspartame and mercury. Separately and in combination, these insidious compounds are synergistically activated by pulsating electromagnetic emissions that mimic and override normal cellular functioning to destroy brain neurons and turn people into zombies.

Held entranced as their life force is leached away by devices eerily similar in size and shape to the voodoo dolls used to cast curses, cell phone zombies are especially dangerous, because unlike real Solanum-inducted zombies incapable of expressing feelings or speech, cell phone zombies can appear nearly normal when not jacked in. A real zombie, when it encounters you, “will home in like a smart bomb,” Brooks explains, and start gnawing your face. A cell phone-voodoo zombie “will take a moment to try to figure out who or what you are.”

Smiling a reflexive, unfelt apology for their intrusion - even “growling if hurt or provoked” as Brooks describes - many cell phone zombies “understand words; some even understand simple sentences [and] possess the ability to speak - simply, of course - and rarely for extended conversations.”

“Zombies, man. They creep me out.” - Dennis Hopper in the film, Land Of The Dead.

CELL PHONE CAR-NAGE
Still, innocent bystanders and drivers can be at grave risk from deranged zombies talking on their cell phones while operating heavy fast-moving vehicles.

In cities that have not yet disarmed cell phone-brandishing drivers, the resulting daily carnage is as gory as any scene out of “Night Of The Living Dead”. Except this mayhem is real. Stunned by an additional $4 billion a year in claims for drivers using cell phones, North American insurers discovered that juggling phones while driving is not causing a 600% increase in accidents. Other drivers busy shaving, applying makeup, tuning radios, taming pets, pouring coffee, eating meals, retrieving dropped cigarettes, talking to passengers or attempting complex sexual gymnastics are even more preoccupied.

Cell phones are much worse than merely dangerous driving distractions. Tests conducted by the U.S. Department of Energy found that using a cellphone turns drivers into zombies, severely impairing their memories and reaction times by disrupting signals to and within their brains. Hands-free mobile phones cause even more crashes because they typically emit 10-times more brainwave interference than handheld units.

Phoning from inside a car or truck is a bad call for everyone in the vehicle - especially children - because the surrounding steel structure amplifies cellphone emissions. The UK House of Commons Science and Technology Committee reports, “using a mobile phone in a vehicle can accelerate radiation levels by up to 10-fold due to resonance effect.”

For all drivers dialing out, Swiss researchers have found “changes of brain function induced by pulsed high-frequency electromagnetic fields outlast the exposure period.” University of Toronto investigators report that the heightened probability of cracking up your car persists for up to a half-hour after completing a call.

That's comparable to the risk of crashing while driving dead drunk exclaims Dr. Chris Runball, chairman of the B.C. Medical Association's emergency medical services committee.

TOASTY TOTS
No one saw it coming. At first a cumbersome novelty, then a faddish convenience, the turning point in the zombification of humanity came in 2006, when corporate hougnan witch doctors casting microwaves began targeting the newborn. Already brain damaged by forced mercury injections in multiple infant vaccines, these newly arrived humans were taken home and bathed in electromagnetic smog invisibly spread by wireless routers, portable phones and intercom “sentries” placed in close proximity to their cribs.

The next step in their zombification came in putting cuddly “kiddy” phones capable of speed-dialing grandma and grandpa into the grasping hands of four year-olds. Soon, humans just out of the womb will no doubt be taking congratulatory calls at their mother's breast.

Some of us tried to resist. The MO1 developed by the toy company Imaginarium and telcom giant Telefónica in Spain prompted parental groups across Europe to demand a government ban on inflicting cell phones on children. Jóvenes Verdes, an environmental advocacy group for young Spanish persons, denounced the mobile telephone industry for “acting like the tobacco industry by designing products that addict the very young."

In Paris, where the curvy crimson-and-blue MO1 “beginner” mobile phone for 6-year-olds has overcome defenders by promising "peace of mind" - or maybe no mind at all - the French health minister has issued a public warning against “excessive” mobile phone use by young children. "I believe in the principle of precaution," muttered Monsieur Bachelot. "If there is a risk, then children with developing nervous systems would be affected. I've alerted parents about the use of mobile telephones because it's absurd for young children to have them."

Also concerned about the zombification of the young, Frank Barnes, a professor of engineering at the University of Colorado who led a study showing that children are at special risk from cell phones, told the press: "This clearly is a population that is going to grow up with a great deal of larger exposure than anybody else because the kids use the phones all the time."

A ZOMBIE CASE HISTORY
In Claysburg, Pennsylvania, Greg Pozgar resisted buying a mobile phone for his then 12-year-old daughter, Morgan. "My biggest concern was whether my children were responsible enough to handle it," he said.

No one told him to worry about its emanations.

After receiving her first cell phone as a Christmas gift that year, young Morgan went on to become a champion of text messaging at age 13 in a national $25,000 competition organized by the electronics manufacturer LG. This is the company that in 2007 made Europe's “fashion handset of choice” by offering a “Chocolate phone” featuring an advanced touchscreen interface, instead of conventional keypad. [www.techdigestuk.typepad.com]

Competing Motorola's V220's Tri-Band promises “network connection” between zombies-under-construction in countries becoming saturated in brain numbing electrosmog. The “stylish” V220 offers chic brain damage, exciting car crashes, no-fear-of-pregnancy sterility or classic cancer - in pink.

After hesitating over heath concerns, Disney has also jumped into the kiddy cell phone sweepstakes. Mattel markets a Barbie cell phone for girls 8 to 14. “Nine-year-old Trey Chapman loves the cool design, flashing lights and big buttons - one for mom and one for dad,” chuckled USA Today. How well Ms. Chapman will enjoy her daughter's reduced learning ability, asthma and other potentially debilitating maladies was not mentioned. [USA Today Mar 14/05]

Verizon has also responded with its popular “parent capable” LG VX8300. The “Chaperone” cell phone puts the “home” in Homeland Security. Now parents can harass their kids with text messages while tracking them through GPS satellite locators built into their continuously radiating cell phones. Every time a young family member enters or leaves an electronically designated “Child Zone”, participating parents receive automated text messages informing them of their child's movements - “So you can relax wherever you are.” [verizonwireless.com; Intl Herald Tribune Mar 7/08]

Whether this home surveillance puts a crimp in the sexually transmitted diseases currently afflicting one in four American teenage girls, or their nearly one-in-three pregnancies before the age of 20 remains to be seen. [Reuters Apr 23/08]

The good news and the bad news is that cigarettes are being replaced by mobile phones. Unable to afford both addictions, teen smoking fell off sharply in 1996 - the same year mobile phone use skyrocketed among 15- to 17-year-olds. And no wonder, since cell phones are marketed by the same ad agencies using the same self-image come-ons that attracted teens to cigarettes - a sense of individuality and sociability, a desire to rebel, the need to bond with friends. [British Medical Journal Nov 4/00]

Totally hooked, Morgan now sends and receives up to 7,000 text messages a month.